nothing to contribute to the Strattons’ need to grieve the loss of their friend, who left them. That would have resulted only in furthering both their and my illusions of control, and nothing remotely redemptive would have come of it. I am often unsure that redemption occurs in parishioners’ lives even when I do direct them to the true issue. I would have loved to hear Bob or Carol say to me, “I just can’t believe Ted Adams left us.” But that was more truth than they were prepared to confess at the